Something missing ...

There are many things that I don't mind doing alone: driving with the music up loud, house cleaning, reading a book, even dining out isn't so bad when you're by yourself (though I seldom do it).

But...

Sleeping.

I sleep sporadically at best and often not near enough. I wake up constantly and begin most days still tired and unrested. I am not at peace when I sleep.

I hate sleeping alone. I miss knowing that someone I love is right there next to me, within reach, close to my heart. I miss waking up and listening to the sound of someone else breathing beside me. I miss having my hair brushed out of my face by hands other than my own. I miss that first sleepy smile of the morning. I miss seeing the look in those eyes that say, without words, "You are my whole world."

The man that I loved died 20 months ago and left a gaping hole in my serenity.

I'm tired. I want to sleep like I used to. I want ...


Today's Plan: Take a nap and not feel guilty about it.