Is it Tomorrow yet?
Someone has been hurt. By me. There is no denying that. The fact that I did not mean for the hurt to happen doesn't really matter at all since it doesn't change the fact that the hurt exists. It also doesn't really matter if anyone believes that the pain this person is feeling also hurts me. It exists outside of anyone's belief and has a life of its own.
I had to make a choice and, trust me, it had to be either/or. There was no a litle bit of this AND a little bit of that for me. Maybe for other people, but not for me. So I chose and in the choosing of one it meant the saying goodby of the other. Therein came the pain. For this I am sorry to the depths of my being.
What I chose was and is right for me. I know it. I feel it. I acted on it. There will be joy in this at some point and I know that, too. But not right at this moment. Not while another hurts on the sidelines.
Now, in the midst of all of this, revelations were made. Some good and some not so good. I will not elaborate on that other than to say that people continue to amaze me. Some good and some not so good. I already knew this, generally speaking, but it was in quite specific terms that this became clear to me today. I should be able to learn this particular lesson without repeat performances. I can live with that. As this day ends so a new day will dawn.
The new road looms in front of me and, as I stand here and gaze out on the horizon, I know that this will be an adventure of epic proportions.
I am about to take a step forward.
Towards tomorrow.
Towards the future.
Towards ... everything.
And so it begins.
I had to make a choice and, trust me, it had to be either/or. There was no a litle bit of this AND a little bit of that for me. Maybe for other people, but not for me. So I chose and in the choosing of one it meant the saying goodby of the other. Therein came the pain. For this I am sorry to the depths of my being.
What I chose was and is right for me. I know it. I feel it. I acted on it. There will be joy in this at some point and I know that, too. But not right at this moment. Not while another hurts on the sidelines.
Now, in the midst of all of this, revelations were made. Some good and some not so good. I will not elaborate on that other than to say that people continue to amaze me. Some good and some not so good. I already knew this, generally speaking, but it was in quite specific terms that this became clear to me today. I should be able to learn this particular lesson without repeat performances. I can live with that. As this day ends so a new day will dawn.
The new road looms in front of me and, as I stand here and gaze out on the horizon, I know that this will be an adventure of epic proportions.
I am about to take a step forward.
Towards tomorrow.
Towards the future.
Towards ... everything.
And so it begins.
posted by Michelle at
6:22 PM
6 Comments:
Bright things on the horizon. That's what tomorrow shall bring you. And the tomorrow after that. And the tomorrow after that.
We can't help but feel our own sense of hurt when we cause pain in others. You both will heal, and you will both be better for it, whether you both know it now or not.
:hug:
By
newwavegurly, at 6/15/2005 7:43 PM
Sorry there isn't a punchline to finish your post.
...51 minutes until tomorrow. The day after that should be even better. *hug*
By
Yibbyl, at 6/15/2005 11:10 PM
You made the right decision. It will make your life a better place. The people who get sidelined will move on. Hopefully you did it with the same grace and style you do everything.
much love and hope for your future!
melanie.
By
Mermaid Melanie, at 6/16/2005 10:40 AM
I can't imagine you hurting anyone.But it happens,and that person will be ok.
Now I want YOU to be ok.
*Hugs and Hugs*
By
Anonymous, at 6/16/2005 2:33 PM
It's too bad that in being completely honest with someone, it can cause tremendous pain. I know, because I've been on both sides of that coin. But....honesty is one of the greatest and most noble ways of loving someone. And eventually, the person in pain realizes that only attachment causes the pain--not the person.
By
Alexandra, at 6/16/2005 9:07 PM
Sometimes hurting someone is inevitable. Even though we are doing what we know to be right it is still troubling to hurt someone you care about. The fact that you recognize this and feel it speaks volumes about you.
Good luck with whatever path you've chosen.
By
Politically Homeless, at 6/17/2005 12:56 PM
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