Last Words ...

When I was in my early 20's a friend of mine had a terrible fight with his wife over the phone. She said some incredibly mean things to him in her anger and he started for home to work things out. He never made it. His truck went off the road about a mile from his house and he died from massive head injuries later that evening. Even though they loved each other and had been through some ups and downs she was left with two little boys and the knowledge that she could never take those words back or say she was sorry to him.

That incident made a HUGE impact on me. I don't like fighting to this day. If I can't discuss a problem with someone then I'll walk away and wait until I can. I try to never, ever say words that would leave me in a similar position to the one I described. I try to always leave the people that I care about with positive and loving words since I can't predict when they might be the last ones I'll be allowed to say to them. This is very important to me.

I say all of this because my next-door neighbors, a young couple with a 5-year-old son, had a terrible fight on the phone last night. He pulled up at midnight as she was in her car and preparing to drive away. Their little boy was in the van with his dad. She hit the gas so hard to get around his van that she backed into a steel flatbed trailer and drove it 6 feet backwards into the front of my Ford Explorer. She drove away.

Today she's in the local hospital after an overdose of prescription drugs. I talked to my neighbor and the worry and stress are so visible on his face. I have a broken fog lamp but nothing serious. The steel trailer is dented and his wife's Honda has about $3500 in rear-end damage. Then there are the hospital bills that will begin pouring in. They don't have medical insurance and don't qualify for any assistance since they make decent money between the two of them. Once she's out of the hospital she'll still have to have some counseling to work through what's going on in her life. This is all just "stuff." The important thing is that she'll be okay.

Through the deepest and darkest parts of my depression after Cleve died I knew that death could NOT be a chosen option for me. Not with kids. I couldn't do that. I can't imagine what leads a person to make that choice but I know that it must be a horrible place to be in one's life. I feel so bad for her, for him, and for that adorable little boy who has no idea why his world is so rocky right now.

I told him to just FORGET about my truck. It means nothing compared to what he has going on right now. His focus will be on his family, as it should be. I don't know what the words were that they shared last night as this all happened but, thankfully, they have a chance to make sure that those weren't the LAST words ever to be spoken between them. I hope that they find the words and the love to work through what's going on in their lives.

Today's Plan: Focus on the kind of loving and positive words that last even when they aren't the last ones spoken.